Middle Pane

absurdism, philosophy, science, music



Isha and Sadhguru (part 3) And Now Yoga

Previous Post: Isha and Sadhguru (part 2) Amma

The email correspondence becomes one-sided for almost 2 months.  I wonder if I have offended Jaggi by my searches since this pins the location to India (but the domain of the email address is Canada).  I continue to send emails to document my journey, and continue to look at SG.  I find there is a local Inner Engineering course near me in a few weeks.  I contemplate going, but make excuses for time and dollar commitment.  I could have made it happen, but I didn’t.  I decide to look more at his videos and I find a series called “And Now Yoga“.  I start looking at the different sessions and trying to do one of them a day in the morning.

Continue reading “Isha and Sadhguru (part 3) And Now Yoga”


There is no Rush, Center First

It starts at home

Develop your talents

There is no rush

Center first

Make mistakes

Get up

Do it again until you get it right

Stop hanging onto possibilities

Images of people in the past

Projected into the future

When you don’t know what to do….



Continue reading “There is no Rush, Center First”


In the physical world, I can pretty much get and do anything that I want, but there is a specified set of steps to get there.  If I want to be at the beach I have to: buy an airplane ticket, rent a car, go to the airport …. and then I will eventually be at the beach.  My ability to travel from here to the beach is within an acceptable level of reality.  I know that it can happen.

But all of that is just thought.

Outside of the moment.

Defining the moment destroys the moment.

You can’t name the moment.

It exists without name.

Because really you are already there.  You are already everywhere.  The mind is making up something from this moment to points in the past and future.  The events to get sequentially to this point or that point are all held within the mind.  The mind imposes limitations on the perceived reality based on past thought patterns and future projections.  But the mind says “Events have to have transpired for me to be at this point.”  It demands to stay in control.  And the more it is in control, the more that it determines what you will experience.

Continue reading “Traveling”

Free Will vs. Control

101_0139 (Modified%20(2))If all action and thought spring from this exact moment, then we either have the total ability to modify our thoughts and actions, or we are just along for the ride.  If all possibilities are played out then we exist as one of those possibilities that is allowing the universe to examine itself and maybe take stock of where it is in the scheme of things.  A certain awareness through a certain lens.  So at the point of awareness in the current moment we realize that all possibilities have occurred to bring about this moment, and this moment represents all possibilities from this moment.

s33said: “we” might have a grain of total control but we also evanesce out toward control which is less than total but also to a presence with less we and more they.

Through identification with the individual we assume that there is something to control.  With loss of identification and causality, there is nothing to control.  Free will comes, but it is not really needed.  Free will isn’t really freedom to make whatever choice you want.  That is irrelevant.  The true meaning is a freedom from desire or will.  Acceptance without want to change.

“Desires are just waves in the mind. You know a wave when you see one. A desire is just a thing among many. Freedom from desire means this: the compulsion to satisfy is absent.
Nisargadatta Maharaj

The more I find myself trying to control the moment, the more I realize that the control is not needed.  My attempts at control only end in disappointment when the goal is not met.  And I realize that this is because I am not self-realized.  Attempt at control is a want.  Release of control is true freedom from will.  It seems to be a balance.  Very odd.  Again, sort of the middle pane aspect of being caught in the middle.  Maybe I should start of a site of middle panes from different comic strips.

Awareness is for all times, not just when you are sitting with your eyes closed.  Do not mistake action for thought or thought for action.

Inner Engineering Day 1

Well, day 1 of Inner Engineering is done.  The session ran from 5pm to 9pm.  The session began with a video and then Sadhguru walked on stage and sat on a bench.  A small band consisting of a flute player, guitarist, drummer and singer did a song/chant.  Throughout Sadhguru was looking over making hand gestures at the technicians.  He did his hands like he was playing the flute and then a down motion indicating the flute was too loud.  He did a few others like that.  I don’t know if he was adjusting his monitors or what.  There were a lot of sound issues like that at the start like they had not done a sound check prior, but it wasn’t really distracting and Sadhguru made it entertaining.

Continue reading “Inner Engineering Day 1”

I am not the body. I am not even the mind

######## ###########################################

My latest post about Sadhguru:


I receive a number of hits on this page every day.  Please be sure to review my other posts regarding the Inner Engineering program.  If you are from Isha, have attended the Inner Engineering program or just have questions, please feel free to email me @


Next weekend I will be attending an Inner Engineering event put on by the Isha Institute.  This event is led by Sadhguru who is a self-realized yogi.  I have never attended anything like this and while it feels a little “new age-y” to me, I am looking forward to it.  I am looking for assistance in dropping the veil of this illusion.  I have had the feeling that I am on the cusp of something for the past few months, but I cannot seem to make that leap alone.  However, I am trying to not have any expectations for this experience so that I can accept it as it comes.

The video above gives an introduction to Isha Kyria meditation.  Isha means the source of creation and Kriya means an inner action towards that.  Where Karma is external action and thought, Kriya is internal.  In order to be freed from suffering I must change my perspective. I have come to realize over the past few days via this introduction and the accompanying meditation (along with various posts on Tumblr) that a change in perspective is not a change in who I am.

The meditation is focused on the thoughts “I am not the body” and “I am not even the mind”.      The thought is then dropped to focus on intoning a sound designed to align the chakras at a central junction point, and then nothing.  Throughout the meditation all thought and body feelings are to be ignored or put aside and one is to sit there and let those pass.  In looking at this meditation, it does not feel that different than Buddhist meditation.

Sadhguru teaches that we are separate from mind and body.  The more that we realize that, the more that we will be able to use the mind and the body as a tool.  Dial it up from 1 to 10.  There is breath, thought, and awareness. The meditation is designed to move from untruth to truth.

On a personable level Sadhguru seems humble and accessible.  He has numerous humanitarian efforts going on, and he doesn’t seem to ask for anything from followers.  A lot of followers do end up giving their time and effort, but it seems to be a completely voluntary act.

One of the reasons that I became interested in Sadhguru is that there is an Isha center not too far from me.  It is still a few hour drive, but it at least isn’t in India.  I have been fidgeting with the idea of going to a Buddhist center in my city.  I put it off and put it off.  The Isha center offered this Inner Engineering course as an online study and a one day onsite at their center.  I thought about that.  Then I found out that Sadhguru is holding an event himself in Atlanta, and that was the push that I needed to put something into action.  I told my wife what I wanted to do, and she was supportive.

Admittedly, I do feel a little awkward doing the meditation.  I have yet to do it in front of my wife or family, but I have never been one for spiritual practices.  If this is the path for me, then I will overcome that.  It may only be a piece of the journey.  Most likely the next step after this will be to further explore the Isha practice or the Buddhist center in my area.  The Buddhist center would fit into a more regular, in person practice for me.  I think that I can use everything that I learn from this experience in that practice.  But again, I want to take things as they come.  The end result may be completely different than any expectations that I have.  (I know I can’t drop them all).

Travelling with my family this past weekend, I used a few different highways, city streets, and back roads.  There was no straight path to my destination.  There were many different options of getting from point A to point B.  The interesting thing is that they were all connected.  No matter the path, my destination ended up being the same.  The shorter distance route went through cities and caused stress driving.  It seemed to take forever.  The longer route went through beautiful mountain and pastoral countryside and felt quicker.  It was less stressful, and even enjoyable.

My Other Posts on Inner Engineering


I realized tonight that 10 years ago I almost had an experience like Tolle’s.

First a little background…

Growing up I had lucid dreams and semi-lucid ones at the end where I feel myself pulling through layers to return from the dream world to the waking world.  I have also been heavily interested in religion and in particular Revelations and what happens after we die.  At that time I had purchased “Wherever you go, there you are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and I was familiar with meditation and the lying down meditation in particular since that is the easiest for a beginner.

… So I was lying on my couch not really sleeping, but drifting some.  I felt a roller coaster rush and I was being pulled through a tunnel.  Those that have drunk before know how the darkness spinning can feel if you have had quite a few.  I was not drunk at the time, but it had a similar feel to that.  However, instead of darkness there were colors.

Quite honestly it scared me.  It felt like death, and I was not ready to die.  I was not ready for the experience that Tolle was able to accept.  I didn’t understand what was dying.

I do now.  I recognize that as the ego.  And in some ways I kick myself for not recognizing it then.  For not being able to accept it, but if it wasn’t for that experience and all those in between and before, I would not be writing this now.  I needed to swim in the sea of ego and ride the waves.

I am ready to swim to shore.

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: