Middle Pane

absurdism, philosophy, science, music


April 2013


A heart being used as a symbol of love. Photo ...

A lot of times I expect people to respond a certain way to something that I have told them.  I feel a little unnerved when they respond in a completely different manner.  I am expecting interest and questions and I get a shake of the head.  I am expecting them to understand something that they could never completely understand because their perspective is different than mine.  They do not have all of the information that I have.  Either through neglect of me telling them, their previous life experiences, or even just their memory or perception of events.  Everything is completely different than mine.  How can I possibly expect their reaction to be the same as mine?

Yet, we are all here sharing this one experience.  We are separate at a physical level, but we are united at a spiritual level.  How can those levels reside in complete ignorance of each other?  Or maybe there is information shared, but it is given in small doses so that we do not notice it.  A gradual change and merging.  It all starts from within.

You can’t expect to end the world of suffering at a wish.  It starts with you.  Give yourself the loving-kindness that you deserve.  Really feel it in your heart and let it expand out to your whole body.  To your family.  To friends.  To people you might possibly hate or hold a grudge towards.  To people you meet in passing.  To people you don’t know.  To the whole world.  To the whole of existence that you cannot even possibly begin to imagine.

Slowly and gradually we begin to become one with everyone that we meet.  We treat them with the respect that we want ourselves.  We empathize with their situation since we can relate to it.  They are not suffering… we are.  The sooner we let go of that desire to see them in a different situation, the sooner that we will ourselves be free from suffering.  They only suffer because we think they suffer.  We only suffer because we project our suffering on other people.  It can end.



Drop the mask of thought of yourself and thought of others.

Drop the blinding veil that is actually your own thought.

Embrace what is in front of you and accept it for what it is,

Nothing more the universe and it is all the same godstuff.

Everything good and bad is made of the same particles,

it is our thought that assigns an outside notion of judgment.

How can a rock be anything other than a rock?

Seen by one it is beauty.

Seen by another it is a weapon.

Open your eyes, it is just a rock.

Throw it.

Eat it.Bonsai Rock Lake Tahoe IV

It doesn’t matter.

It will still exist as a rock,

Until it is something else.


Observe the state of your mind from one moment to the next
It is all there
You just have to remember it
You have been here before

Over the Edge

On the edge II

It happened

It is done

There is no going back in this physicality to correct it

All action begins and ends within you

Can physicalities be changed without death of one, the other, or both?

How often does this happen?

Can we be aware of the transition?

What determines the markers for a particular physicality?

Can enough of those markers be seen and understood to determine if the physical reality has changed?

Continue reading “Over the Edge”

Inner Engineering Day 3

042113064454I woke up at 3:30 this morning with a feeling that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.   Overall, I had a feeling that I needed to be at home.  I needed to be with my family.  Home is where you feel love, and I did not feel that the Inner Engineering path would lead home for me or at least it wasn’t the path that I felt that I should take to get there.  Sadhguru said that he could only offer and not shove his enlightenment down our throats.  I decided that as much as I wanted to see and experience the remainder of the class that I am not as open as I could be and that I would ultimately reject anything offered. Maybe at some level I fear that if I follow Sadhguru, I won’t follow myself.

Please note that this is my opinion and I do not want to deter or encourage anyone from Isha, Inner Engineering, or Sadhguru.  I can only relate what is best for me on my journey.  Since I did not see the class to its conclusion, there will still be a question mark and I actually think that is best for those that read this and choose to pursue the teaching.  I would rather write to you now and tell you my experience with the question mark at the end as opposed to something swayed one way or the other.  If you want to read on then please do, but do it with the understanding of what I have just said.

Continue reading “Inner Engineering Day 3”

Inner Engineering Day 2

We started today at 8:30am.  There were a number of people late because of parking at the convention center.  The whole place is setup very odd, but I found a backdoor entrance when leaving today.  The morning started with a talk by Sadhguru.  He discussed responsibility vs. action.  If someone was dying in the back of the room would you be responsible for them?  There was a little word play in that everyone has a response to them. He questioned “is response limited or unlimited?”  Unlimited.  (More on this in a bit).  Then he questioned “Is action limited or unlimited?”  Limited.  There are an infinite number of ways that you could respond, but only a limited set of actions that you could respond with.  He said that everything is a response to something else.  This is similar to Indra’s net although he did not draw that analogy.

During the talk a few people got up to go to the bathroom.  He made a point to call them out and literally hold up the whole class while they went.  He said that he didn’t want anyone to miss a single bolt of inner engineering.  He sat there silent when one person when and then agreed to answer a question when another went.  He had called this guy out earlier for talking notes saying that he didn’t want anyone to write a scripture.  “If it could be written down should he (Sadhguru) write it?”  (I think that he has written or someone has ghost written a few books for him.)  The guy that had been called out wanted to say that he was not writing a scripture and that he just wanted to jot down some notes to help him remember.  That was still no good.  No writing.  Just be with Sadhguru.

Continue reading “Inner Engineering Day 2”

Inner Engineering Day 1

Well, day 1 of Inner Engineering is done.  The session ran from 5pm to 9pm.  The session began with a video and then Sadhguru walked on stage and sat on a bench.  A small band consisting of a flute player, guitarist, drummer and singer did a song/chant.  Throughout Sadhguru was looking over making hand gestures at the technicians.  He did his hands like he was playing the flute and then a down motion indicating the flute was too loud.  He did a few others like that.  I don’t know if he was adjusting his monitors or what.  There were a lot of sound issues like that at the start like they had not done a sound check prior, but it wasn’t really distracting and Sadhguru made it entertaining.

Continue reading “Inner Engineering Day 1”



Have you ever heard an old Zen saying that goes something like: “When you are hungry, eat. When you are tired, rest. When you are cold, put on extra flannel.”(see)Well, tying shoes fits right in there and is a key to the understanding or grasping of things Zen.



Why do I fight so much with the ones I love?  It seems sometimes that I put all of the anger that I have from the outside world onto them.  I guess it seems impolite or out of place to go off on a co-worker, and I know that my family will forgive.  It is absolutely no excuse that I project my anger onto them.  They are the ones that I love the most and they are the ones that feel the brunt of my rage.  If this Inner Engineering course does nothing besides help me manage and understand my anger then I will consider it a success.  That is the thing that I need most right now.  Enlightenment and the universe can come later.  I need peace with my family and peace with myself.

Continue reading “Anger”

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