Middle Pane

absurdism, philosophy, science, music


January 2013


Memories of the past or visions of the future represent only one possibility.  Don’t get caught up in them.  If given the choice between a positive or negative memory/thought which would you choose?  And if all possibilities are the same, does it even matter? Every possible situation leads to every possible outcome.  That means that even if you mess up, that situation can still lead itself to the best possible outcome (or at least one not as shitty as you probably imagine).  The quicker you let go of the situation, the quicker it will feel like change happens.  This allows you to move on to the next situation or moment.  Soon it may feel that everything is just a string of moments.  Or maybe just one big moment.


''Fish Karma logo

Typically when I hear the word karma images of a birth and death cycle come to mind.  Actions, speech and thought performed in this life have direct implications on the next one.  While this larger cycle may be true, a much tighter karmic cycle is happening constantly.  The way that we interact with the world has direct and sometimes immediate impact on us.  This may be a future debt that we know is coming due or it may be an instant feeling we get as soon as the harm is inflicted.

The tight cycle still represents the birth and death of our selves.  The birth and death of our ego.  How we treat others,  including our environment, has direct implication on what the ego thinks it is.  Action kills the ego and it is then reborn with whatever karmic debt was created in the last cycle.  It is best not to judge the ego since its life is so short.

Reposted from The Awakening Website

There is an interesting word, called Rumination, for which there are two definitions.  One is ‘the act of chewing cud.’   The other is ‘to go over in the mind repeatedly.’

In regards to the latter, the inability to stop ruminating is a characteristic of the spiritually unconscious.

The 17th century philosopher, René Descartes, is regarded as the founder of modern philosophy.  It was he who gave expression to the famous statement, I think.  Therefore I Am.

But the consciousness that says ‘I Am’ is not the consciousness that thinks.  And, as long as we are unaware of this fact, we continue to mistake the thinker for who we are.

The core of all of our mind activity consists of repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions and reactive patterns.  This entity is called ‘the ego’.  And the ego is the one who identifies with possessions, opinions, external appearances and long-standing resentments.  These are the things to which the words I, me, my and mine refer.

Many of us are completely identified with a stream of compulsive thinking, most of which is repetitive and pointless.  But, if we understand the basic mechanics behind the ego mind, we can recognize it as such.

What a liberation to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am.  Who am I then?  The one who sees that.
Eckhart Tolle

The ego was created as a survival mechanism when you descended in consciousness during the Fall of Man.  But it is the ego that creates the illusion that we are separate from one another and separate from God.  This either makes us feel that we are not as good as, or better than others.

We are born into truth.  But we grow up believing in lies.  We witness so many lies when we are young and innocent, and we use these lies to form our personal Tree of Knowledge.  And one of the biggest lies is the lie of our own imperfection, which is told to us by the ego.  And believing the ego is an addiction.

The ego is actually an impostor who is pretending to be you. It is the ego who drives the car while you daydream behind the steering wheel.  It is the ego who causes you to terminate your meditation to take care of “more important” things.

And he said to them all, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny his self.”  Luke 9:23

The ego is a descended master.  So your greatest protection from the ego is to become fully conscious and aware of it.  You are a character in The Truman Show and everyone who is asleep at the wheel is named Truman.

Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment.  Ego, and awareness of the ego, cannot co-exist. Eckhart Tolle



Inspired by the book A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, Eckhart Tolle, Penguin Books, 2005

Thought and Awareness of Thought

If every thought has an identity related to it, why attach to one more than the other?  Why attach to one at all?  All thoughts, and thus all identities are products of past experiences predicting future events.  Since neither is happening now, they are machinations of the mind.  Fabrications.  Illusions.  Now either exists as no thought or awareness of thought.  Thought and awareness of thought cannot exist together.

Ego, and awareness of the ego, cannot co-exist.

– Eckhart Tolle

But there is still an “I”.  Even with awareness of thought there comes an observer, since there is something that is aware.  Is that awareness the universe?  The universe being aware, coming alive at one single point.  Looking at waves and freezing them into a specific pattern.  Once awareness is diverted does the observed still exist?  The observer seems to either go into the emptiness or continue on into the next thought pattern.

Yet you see the moon in your consciousness. There was no moon till it was an experience in your consciousness. Your brain is not registering pictures of the moon. It is sensing a digital on-off code of photons or waves of electricity (same thing) The collapse of wave function that creates the moon is in your consciousness (that has no location because its non local) The moon exists in consciousness—no consciousness, no moon—just a sluggishly expanding wave function in a superposition of possibilities. All happens within consciousness and nowhere else.

– Deepak Chopra

In the case of people without insight into the nature of consciousness, the mental activity is in the center of consciousness.  Every thought creates a new center, a new identification which is the ego — there is nothing else there.  We cannot talk about “one” ego but rather about a flow of conscious or semi-conscious events, being capable of operating in a relatively integrated way.  This is the function of the ego.

– Aziz Krsitof

Continue reading “Thought and Awareness of Thought”


A photo of 12 Original Glazed doughnuts from K...

Having a new guy at has helped me realize a few things about myself.  With my usual circle of family, friends, and co-workers I tend to start making assumptions about people.  About what they know or what they don’t   About what they think and how they should act.  With someone new it has made me realize that I cannot make any assumptions about him or anyone else.  There have been a few cases where he has been told something and then a day or so later doesn’t recall it.  I am making assumptions that he heard it or even if he did hear it, he may not have heard it the same way that I did.  I can take that insight back to how I treat the people that are close to me.  I have to drop all assumptions and expectations.

Along with this, I have caught myself trying to determine for some reason if he is a genuinely nice guy or if he is pandering to different people.  Last Friday he asked if he could bring in bagels or something.  My boss then told a story about how when he was 18 he went with Outward Bound and was dropped in the middle of a forest for a week.  When he got back, his mom and dad met him at the airport with a dozen glazed Krispy Kreme and a dozen cream filled.  He devoured them on the way home.  And the next day the new guy brought in a dozen Krispy Kreme and a dozen cream filled.  He is from New York, so I pretty much figure that he really wanted bagels, and that is what he mentioned first.  He does lose points since they were bought from a grocery store and not an actual Krispy Kreme (Hot and Now is the best).  With all that analysis, I did start to ask myself, what does it matter.  Can’t he just be the new guy trying to fit in?  Does he have to be playing an angle?  And if he does, what does that matter?

Overall, this was a good week.  It was rainy M-Th, but today was super nice.  I almost put the top down on my Jeep.  Still a bit nippy, but I may do it this weekend.  I was pretty productive at work, and I am feeling more confident in my skills.  I am trying to be more patient in all aspects of my life.  Everything is happening as it should.  This is not a new revelation, but it is one that I forgot and buried when I started to doubt myself.  My youngest son is starting to get sick, so it isn’t all sunshine and roses, but I am trying to take that in stride too as something that is happening as it should.

I have been thinking more and more about how I would like to move into management.  I would really like to be in a position where I can help guide other people and help them to realize their potential.  I have been mentoring one of my co-workers, and he is making great progress.  one of the hardest things for me is to step back and let him try things on his own.  Sometimes they are not how I would do them, and I want to step in and correct, but it is better to give up tight control.  I can still help guide, but ultimately he has to make the decision in order for it to stick and for him to improve.  It is also difficult to give up some of the cooler assignments, but I am getting over that too.  There is still room for me to learn.

Free Will

Over Under
Image by ecstaticist via Flickr

We may or may not have “free will

We may or may not be in control of our destiny


We most certainly have the ability to do what we want to do



Realization that the path is laid out.

Realization that I am and have always been on that path.

Realization that everything is the path.

Realization that there is absolutely nothing to control.

I can just observe.

We all know.

We just forget.

There is nothing to forget.

There is nothing to remember.

Everything is unfolding as it should.

The Singularity Is Near

I am starting to read Ray Kurzweil‘s book “The Singularity is Near“.  He believes that there is a point within the next couple decades where non-biological thinking will exceed biological thinking.  The rate of technological change will skyrocket so quickly it will seem that change is happening at an extremely astonishing rate.  Even just looking at the past century we can plot the rate of technological change on a logarithmic scale.

Within decades of that man will begin to become one with machine.  The connection between biological and non-biological will become intimately close.  Foglets, which are nanorobots holding hands will form real world physical objects.  “I don’t really like that chair, how about a recliner?  No, in black”.  Virtual reality will form into physical reality.  Eventually we will be part of the entire Earth and start to branch out to other planets on our way to awaken the entire universe.

This is very exciting to me.  This feels like the physical manifestation of universal enlightenment.  And we all will be part of it.

Continue reading “The Singularity is Near”

Is this the Highway?

English: Traffic congestion along Highway 401

While riding in the car, my oldest son likes to ask “Is this the highway?” or “Are we on the highway?”  He is infatuated with just even the concept of being on the highway.  I have never really understood why, but I was thinking tonight that I am obsessed with the same thing.  “Am I on the path?”  “Am I getting there as quickly as possible?”   The highway represents flow.  It is fast and it is amazing.  Cars moving at incredible speed performing a ballet of movement.  When you are on a surface road, it is slower, there are stoplights.  Things don’t always seem as magical.

The thing that I have to keep in mind is that even though the flow of traffic may be slow or even come to a stop, I am still on my way.  I am still progressing.  The traffic is out of my control and I should not try to control it.  I should accept the flow as it is, a rhythmic dance at any speed.  It is exciting when it is fast, but it can be equally exciting when it is slow.

Coming home, right before getting on the interstate, I saw a doe and fawn leap across the road.  I was thankful I was paying attention.


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